Worth the Risk

This photo really needs no explanation.

So friends, my Texan summer has come to a close. I have been trying (and subsequently failing) to write this post since I returned home last Wednesday, and finally decided to just get it over with, like ripping off a bandaid.

I anticipated the transition between my Texas home and Illinois home to be hard, but even I was surprised as I had to pull over on my way out of town to cry my eyes out.

My last week in San Angelo was pretty much a whirlwind. I squeezed in as much time with my friends as possible, including an awesome two-day musical festival called Rock the Desert, where we saw The Afters, Needtobreathe, Chris Tomlin, and RELIENT K among others. A perfect way to spend my last weekend in Texas!

Something that I contemplated often throughout my summer and now in my transition to life back at home is whether or not temporary relationships are worth it.

When I first arrived in San Angelo, I completely had an all-business attitude. I did not sign up for a summer of having fun and meeting new friends, and I certainly did not intend to do either. I wanted to serve the Lord and do so whole-heartedly, which I thought meant focusing on my internship and only the work that that entailed. Admittedly, I also did not want to get close to people who I would inevitably be leaving. But God has always had the habit of taking my foolish plans and shaking them up, so I suppose I should not be surprised by the fact that He plopped me in one of the most incredibly loving and generous communities I have ever been a part of and surrounded me with multiple people who I felt instant connections with.

My two best friends from the summer are Wayne and Lucy. They were both missionaries from Go Now Missions, also sent to work for Kids Eat Free. Although required to spend about 8 hours a day, every day, together for our jobs, we also spent almost every weekend and many nights hanging out, usually "sheep hunting" around San Angelo and hitting up Sonic at happy hour.

Lucy and Wayne are two of the most faithful, God-honoring people I have ever met. Their passion for the work of God and love for His people impressed me, challenged me, and made me strive to hold more of these qualities in my own life. Working with both of them this summer was an honor, and I know that my experience would have been a lot more boring, quiet, and lonely without them.

It has been a full week now since they walked me out to my packed-to-the-brim car, waving as I pulled out of the office parking lot for the last time. Although many texts and facebook posts have already been exchanged, I often find myself thinking "Oh, I'll have to tell Wayne and Lucy about that when I get back to the office," and sadly realize that I will not, in fact, being seeing their faces anytime soon.


The other groups of people who kept me sane this summer were those that I met through my church, Southland Baptist, those in the College and Career class there, and friends that I made from the Air Force base. Again, I really tried to not make any friends--I seriously do not like to miss people. But I have never in my life been welcomed with such generosity and genuine kindness as I was in the community of San Angelo.
 


Hiking with some Church/Air Force friends.

Leaving San Angelo and all of the incredible friends I made there was wayyyy harder than I had anticipated. But not once on my way home or since I've gotten here have I thought I wish I hadn't bothered. These people are part of my story now. I wouldn't be the same without them or their friendship, no matter how temporary. Although many of us have promised to keep in touch, as time goes on and life gets all the crazier, we'll likely talk less and less. Some, I hope, will be a part of the rest of my life, even if this is only occasionally. 

Living the kind of life I have chosen, going where God leads me, means that I probably have a life chock-full of hellos and goodbyes ahead of me. Possibilities for the next few years include spending a semester in Kenya, joining the Peace Corps, or even just going to grad school in a different state. All of these situations would be knowingly temporary, and would require me to be faced with that risky decision once again: to invest or not invest?

Making new friends in a place where I lived for only 8 weeks was risky. For me, who loves deeply and takes friendship so seriously, I could not see how taking the risk to care about people I knew I would be leaving could ever be worth it. But I've changed my mind.

SO WORTH IT.