40 days.

40 is a significant number in Scripture. Many of my favorite Bible stories center around the number 40: The rain that fell on Noah and his ark lasted for 40 days. David (one of my personal favorite men-of-God; the whole "man after God's own heart" thing just resonates with me!) was king of Israel for 40 years. Elijah once ate a meal that sustained him for 40 days. Jesus was tempted in the desert for 40 days, and after His resurrection, he stayed on earth in bodily form for, you guessed it, 40 days.

And now, my part in God's story is coming in to contact with this special number: 40 days from today, I'll board a plane (and then two more within 24 hours), eventually ending up in Nairobi, Kenya to spend the semester living and working at First Love Children's Home.

Leading up to these past few weeks, every time someone asked me about going to Kenya all I could meet their questions with was pure, unadulterated excitement. Friends and family would ask, "Aren't you scared?" and I would say "No...should I be?"

I am absolutely thrilled to have the opportunity to live and work in Kenya. I've already seen God at work in the fact that I can even do my internship in Kenya (the program wasn't quite intending to send social work students so soon!) But within the past week or two, Satan has seen exactly how to put doubt in to this eager heart of mine. Suddenly, I'm pretty afraid of what I'll be facing come January. I'm afraid of a lot of things: I'm afraid that I'll miss my family and friends desperately, I'm afraid that something bad will happen to my friends or family while I'm away and I won't be able to be with them, I'm afraid that the kids I'm working with won't like me, I'm afraid that the adults I'm working alongside won't like me, I'm afraid of being a minority (being white and from the U.S.) for the first time in my life, I'm afraid of experiencing my heart breaking so desperately for the needs in Kenya that I won't come back.

I'm a little ashamed to admit any of these, especially publicly, but that's pride speaking. I'm a fallen human being and I fail to realize just how BIG my God is on a daily basis. Missing people? MY GOD IS BIGGER. Illness and injury? MY GOD IS BIGGER. Feeling unloved and unwanted? MY GOD IS BIGGER. Feeling out of place? MY GOD IS BIGGER. Broken-hearted from the pain in this world? MY GOD IS BIGGER.

A Psalm of David ( my fave!): "The LORD is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid?"

As I spend these last 40 days before my departure, would you join me in praying for the following things?

• Pray for the children that I'll be working with: that their needs would be met and that their hearts will be stirred up by Jesus.
• Pray for those working at First Love right now: that they would be sustained and filled with joy at the privilege of caring for the orphan, as we are commanded to do  
• Pray for those who were affected by the terrorist attack in Nairobi in September: pray that the hearts of those affected will be soothed, the fear of more unrest will be calmed, and that God will work in the hearts of those who are causing terror (remember, HE'S BIGGER!)
• Pray that as I and other students prepare our minds and hearts for Kenya we would turn our fears to God--He's got our backs!