Glimpses of Grace, Part 2

As I said in my last blog post, seeing the rest of the group off while I stayed behind in Kenya was much more difficult than I had expected. I’ve been so content throughout these past four months that it hit me by surprise that I couldn’t stop the tears from coming while I hugged my friends goodbye. It was painful to say goodbye to them, but it was also painful to say goodbye to the most amazing and adventurous four months of my life without something new to anticipate. I love it here at First Love and I am so glad I stayed, but I struggled with dealing with the end of the semester without the excitement of returning home right away.

Last Thursday night and Friday morning I was seriously doubting my decision to stay longer. While I am surrounded by community and fiercely loved here, it’s hard to feel the comfort of that community in the middle of the night when all that’s running through your head is what was I thinking? As the rest of the group boarded a plane that would eventually lead them home and I returned to my empty apartment at First Love, I felt like I had made a huge mistake. I slept for about 3 hours that night, the whole time considering switching my flight once again to return home as soon as possible.

When I got up the next day, I was not holding it together well at all. Homesickness had really hit for the first time, and it hit hard. I finally decided to drag myself over to the Baraka Center late morning, and the short journey between my door and that place offered so many glimpses of God’s grace that reassured me that I made the right choice:

• Joshua’s look of absolute shock and excitement as he exclaimed “I thought you had gone back to your country!”
• Felista seeing me from across the compound, screaming “ANNA!” dropping her toy, and sprinting into my arms
• Pendo kissing my hands and cheeks over and over again as Joshua explained that she “thought I had been lost"

• Walking into the Baraka Center greeted by a round of applause and rare smiles from all the women present….I even got hugs from everyone, which is exceptionally rare. They thought I had changed my mind about staying longer (since we were on safari that whole week before this).

Staying in Kenya two weeks longer has turned out to be one of the hardest parts of this trip. I didn’t expect this, but I also didn’t expect for God to show up in such a tangible way to remind me that listening to Him even when he says stay and all I want to do is go will always bring the best result.

2 Corinthians 12:9 “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

I am thanking God for my weaknesses today, because without them His grace and power would not be so evident. My weak human spirit misses my family and friends and hot water coming out of the tap and fruit leather and washing machines and Chipotle and my dog. But the power of Christ in my life has supplied me with so much more than this: the family of First Love who love me and who I am privileged to love. I have never been so thankful for my weaknesses.

Glimpses of Grace, Part 1

A few weeks ago, I made a decision to extend my time in Kenya and stay at First Love for two weeks after the rest of my study abroad group would go home. I decided to stay longer mainly because the Baraka Women’s Center graduation is next week which I would have missed if I had left on the originally planned date. I am also quite in love with First Love and the people here, and I was simply not ready to leave these kids...I don’t think I’ll ever feel ready to leave them, but I will return to graduate!

 As I was thinking and praying about this decision when I was trying to make it, I didn’t realize just how difficult the staying later would be. When I decided to stay, I was overjoyed to have two extra weeks with the people I’ve come to love and consider a second family. I did not think about the fact that my study abroad group which has been a huge support system in my life would be leaving without me.

Last night we went out for a delicious “last supper” as a group (it was not without a few tears). There were “most likely to…” awards and good conversation and constant laughter. Here are the awards for your enjoyment:

Jeff DeKock, most likely to….be readjusting his hair

Asaaska Labarawke-DeKock, most likely to…want to stay out all night

Leila DeKock, most likely to….say NO!

Kirk Belmont, most likely to…ingest wildlife

Makenzy Zaborowski, most likely to…be the first up a mountain

Brittany Homan, most likely to…order chips masala

Rochelle Burks, most likely to…make friends wherever we go

Ellie Staricka, most likely to…play with fire

Tyler Minnesma, most likely to…B.S. everyone and be believed

Katie Simmon, most likely to…laugh until she cries

Anna Wessley, most likely to…smile through any illness or injury

Maina, most likely to…pretend to know little English so he doesn’t have to talk to us

Ishmael, most likely to…always be laughing or smiling

What a wonderful note to end on. At midnight we all piled in the big van together for the last time and Maina pretended to be a flight attendant…hilarious.

We got to the airport, unloaded our caravan of luggage/people cars, I hugged everyone goodbye (some more than once) and unsuccessfully tried to hold back the tears. And then that was it. Our semester together was over.

There were times throughout this semester (many times) when things in our group were pretty rough and we just did not get along. There were times (many of them) that our group was declared a “dud” by some of us. But somewhere along the way, in these past few weeks we have finally become a group and what a fun thing that was while it lasted. We have camped, white water rafted, sang the praises of naan bread, kissed/seen/selfied with tons of different animals, hiked, visited the hospital, bartered, broken school rules, sat around campfires, zip-lined, piled on boda bodas, watched movies, danced, peed in nature, practiced our Swahili, swam, shooed away cats, joked, played games, and done life together for four months.

I love that God is in the business of surprising us. What we had all declared a lost cause (this group) turned into one big teary goodbye. I only wish I could have completed the journey back to the U.S. with these dear friends, but I know I will be seeing them again. 

Miss you crazy kids.

Baraka=Blessing

As circumstances have changed a bit at First Love, my time during the day has become almost exclusively dedicated to working at the Baraka Women's Centre, and I love it. I work on assorted tasks: working with Rochelle to compile a catalog of the products the women make, writing curriculum for the sewing program (which was finally finished last week--yay!), researching ways to enable sustainability for the women after they graduate from the program, and my favorite, teaching/leading greeting card making! You can check out the Baraka Center's website at www.barakawomenscenter.com and see the products for sale at http://barakawomenscenter.com/?page_id=98 (do you recognize the model ;-)?)

Shosho Rose, Lydia, Matilda and Rose hard at work sewing aprons

Working at the Baraka Center is not at all what I had imagined for myself when I came to Kenya for my internship. I'm living at an orphanage so it only makes sense that I would be working with the kids, right? Unfortunately the very long school days (we're talking 7 am-4:30pm) make it difficult to have any constructive time with the kids, and I have to have something to do all day. Thankfully the Baraka Center is right on First Love's compound, so I work there all day (9:30ish to 4:30), hang out with the kids when they get home from school, do devotions, eat, then an hour of homework help and it all wraps up at 9 pm, at which time I try to stay awake to stay in touch with home via the internet, but I usually fail at making it past 10:30.

Rochelle and I often joke to each other that we fall asleep on our desks at night and just wake up in the morning and keep working. And sometimes it feels like that, that when I'm at First Love all my time is completely consumed. But that's something I am okay with: I love the kids, I love the women at Baraka, and I am fully okay with spreading myself a little thin for the limited time we're here. We have an adventure or get-away almost every weekend, and then I come to USIU for a day or two and go to class and rest. My roommate here told me a few weeks ago that she thinks my hobby is sleeping because I'm always napping on Monday afternoons. I explained to her that I'm always just catching up from a crazy week!

I feel like I and the women at Baraka have hit a turning point in the past week: I've become part of their community, and that feels great. We don't always understand each other (my Midwestern accent has been voted "hardest of the wazungu to understand", haha) and they're mostly 10-30 years older than me, but nothing beats being greeted with hugs and huge smiles every morning and sitting down for tea time with them.

Lydia, Florence, Fanice, Tabitha, Farida and Matilda inspecting a
huge pile of repair work to be done for the First Love kids!

I've started talking a bit about when I leave just so everyone is prepared, and last week Fanice was having none of it:  "Oh Ann, you cannot leave! You are our daughter and we are your mamas. Kenya needs you, not the United States." (Everyone here calls me Ann, Anna has been voted "too difficult to say"....whatever that means!) Oh, my heart. I explained to her how sad I would be to leave but that I haven't seen my family in 3 months. She thought about it and decided that I am allowed to return home because "your mother is missing you, oh is she missing you."

Rose and her granddaughter, Naveyl, who
often comes to Baraka with grandma. We
all take turns holding this beautiful baby so
grandma can get some work done!

There are things about working at Baraka that should be intimidating to me: I don't sew, these women are all older than me and have such difficult lives in comparison to mine, I knew nothing about curriculum or micro loans before this semester. But these things haven't really mattered: I can't sew, but I can definitely make greeting cards and we have a blast while doing that, the women and I have developed a mutual respect and love, and I am definitely using my research skills this semester (shout out to Research class!)

Every Friday afternoon we have Bible study at Baraka, and we've taken to beginning or ending by walking a circle around the building and praying, usually out loud--the grounds workers at First Love probably think we're all crazy, but God doesn't! Would you join me in circling this place and these women in prayer this week? Please pray for:

• Money to come through for the women to all receive sewing machines for graduation--we're about halfway to the goal!
• All 9 women to pass their final exam and be able to graduate
•  A way to get the women and their products to market each weekend
• These women to continue to thrive after they graduate

Karibu Zanzibar: Paje (Paradise!)

Monday evening of spring break we drove about an hour or so to the other side of the island to spend the rest of the week in a town called Paje at Teddy's, which was separated from the beach only by a few palm trees! The entire place was just sand, even the floors where we stayed, and most of us opted to go barefoot the entire week--such a freeing experience!

The girls' home for the week

Inside our hut

A short walk to the beach

Paradise.

Tuesday we lounged and read and slept on the beach and it was absolutely wonderful. While the pace of things here in Kenya is slower than I'm used to (no more late night cram sessions for this girl!) I am still busy, and it was oh so nice to have some time with no responsibilities or obligations.

I have also decided that swimming in the Indian Ocean is the cure for any and all ills; it was absolutely magnificent.




Wednesday we went on a "spice tour". Zanzibar is known as the Spice Island because spice trade routes used to pass through here. We visited a spice farm that had dozens of different kinds of spice-producing trees and plants and it was...kind of interesting. The tour guide kept trying to make us guess what type of spice each tree produced and we would all say "Seriously, we don't know." He was shocked that we truly had no idea...I guess that shows just how spoiled we Americans are that our cinnamon and cloves come in jars and we have no clue what they originally looked like. We ended the visit with a delectable lunch cooked with many of the different spices we had seen: pilau, cassava, cooked bananas, and salad. Yum!

Thursday was by far the most exciting day of the trip. We departed Teddy's at 6am and drove about a half hour to another beach. After gearing up with goggles, snorkels and flippers, we climbed into a pair of fishing boats to go in search of dolphins! I have never been a big animal aficionado (besides the fact that I don't want to eat them) and have never had a specific desire to swim with dolphins, but this was an absolutely amazing experience. We would motor around until we saw dolphins flipping in and out of the water, then the boat would get as close as possible to them and we would jump in and look down as quickly as possible. I'm telling you, there is nothing like floating in the ocean and looking down below to see four dolphins...incredible.

Later that morning we took a walk out to the reef off the beach and IT. WAS. AMAZING.

We were able to walk probably about a half mile out and the water never reached deeper than our knees. Along the way, we saw tons of starfish, little tiny crabs, sea anemones, coral, and all different kinds of fish. As we walked we also carefully dodged what I began to call "minefields" of sea urchins. This walk was by far my favorite part of the trip: I was literally stepping over creatures that I've only ever seen behind glass in the aquarium. I would do it again every day if I could.

Unfortunately on the walk back in I stepped on a sea urchin and got some spines in my foot. There were a  few minutes of panic after some guy on the beach told me I was going to die, but we dripped some fresh papaya juice on it and plucked those spines right out. It's all part of the adventure, eh?

Friday we had another beach day and we took the opportunity to relive our childhoods and build the best sandcastle ever (the Coke bottle is a nod to a movie we watched earlier in the semester in our African film series, The Gods Must be Crazy).

Our trip to Zanzibar was a perfect mix of touristy learning experiences, exciting sea adventures and plenty of time to catch up on a good book and soak up the sun.

Best spring break ever.

Karibu Zanzibar: Stonetown

I have been looking forward to our spring break trip to Zanzibar for about exactly one year, since last year's group shared their amazing adventures via Facebook and blogs with us poor suffering souls back in the Midwest cold.

Somehow spring break was suddenly upon us last week, and we set off for the airport at 6:30 am on Saturday for a quick flight to Zanzibar! We stopped for a (literally) hot 10 minutes in Mombasa to refuel and exchange a few passengers. Maybe it was my total lack of sleep the entire week before this or the early morning flight, but I thought it was hilarious that we disembarked and hung out in this hallway for 10 minutes. Maybe it's just me. Actually I'm confident it's just me, but whatever.

We stayed in Stonetown Saturday afternoon through Monday evening, and what an adventure it was. I love exploring new places, and it was refreshing to allow myself to act and feel like a tourist here. I think I have had this idea in Nairobi that I don't want to be the stereotypical mzungu taking pictures of everything and acting like I don't know what I'm doing, but I fully embraced my tourist side in Zanzibar and I'm glad!

Saturday afternoon I was tempted to give in to the temptation of a nap, but am glad I didn't because I would have missed out on some prime adventuring! Tyler, Makenzy, Nyseku and I set off to explore and ended up coming across an old bath-house that were able to tour. It ran for over 140 years, up until Tanzania's independence around 1964.

A fire was kept burning in here to heat the hot baths.

Nyseku on the roof of the bath-house.

Saturday afternoon and Sunday we tried our hands at bargaining and all purchased probably a few-too-many of our new favorite clothing items: ZANZIPANTS!!


(photo credit for both of these to the beautiful Katie Shea!)







We visited the site of the old slave market on Sunday. The slave trade in East Africa was very small in comparison to West Africa, but slaves that were taken from the East were routed through Zanzibar and kept and then sold at the slave market. Once slavery was abolished, the site of the market was transformed into an Anglican church. The designers of the church incorporated many elements that acknowledged the former slave market and there was a lot of symbolism of redemption: turning this place from one of horror and pain into a community of hope.

On Monday we took a boat to the nearby Prison Island, named so because it was originally meant to be a prison but was never actually used as one. There is also a tortoise sanctuary there which was definitely an educational experience!

I promise that I like animals more than this
picture reveals!

Prison in paradise?

The best part of Monday was going snorkeling after visiting Prison Island. It was my first time in the Indian Ocean, and I loved it--the water was clear and warm and I could have spent the rest of the week just swimming. We swam above a small coral reef and were able to see some fish and mini jellyfish, but most of the sea life stayed too deep for us to get a good look. Thankfully we would get many more opportunities to swim with sea creatures later in the week!

There's so much more to share about Zanzibar that I'll have to do so in another post!



A few more random photos from Stonetown:

A White Woman Smoking in Kibera!

The first week that I was serving at First Love there was a team here from the U.S. who were putting on a VBS-style program at a school in Kibera, the nearby slum. Rochelle and I joined them each day to help out. We would make the hour and a half drive both ways each day with one of the directors (a Kenyan), another intern who is from the Czech Republic, a Kenyan intern, and two of the high school-aged kids from First Love. Needless to say, we are all very very different and come from very different cultures.

Kibera is a pretty rough area; there is deep poverty and suffering there. It is an area that we are careful in and even Kenyans familiar with the area approach with caution. It is very rare to see a mzungu in Kibera.

One day on our drive home, we were all exhausted and no one in our very-full car was talking. Suddenly, all at once, we all exclaimed in unison "A WHITE WOMAN SMOKING IN KIBERA?!?!?" There she was: a middle aged white woman with dark hair, wearing all black, walking down the sidewalk with a cigarette in her mouth. Everyone immediately burst into uproarious laughter; we were literally doubled over in our seats. I think it was especially funny because we all found it funny: the ridiculousness of this bold mzungu woman casually hanging out on the street in Kibera spanned all our cultures and generations.

That was the moment that I knew I was going to be OK here in Kenya: yes, the culture here is very different and there has been so much to adjust to, but finding the common humor in a ridiculous situation comforted me that I would find my place. 

I do feel that I have found my place here but there are still ridiculous things that happen daily or just things that I once would have found strange that I've now gotten used to. Laughter expounds around here on the daily for many reasons, including:

• Reading essays of the junior high students...I suspect that they've been told to use similes and "common" English phrases, but in practice this often just turns out ridiculous. Some of my favorites: "Tears rolled down his cheeks like fat elevens." "I could see the tomatoes bloom on his cheeks as he became embarrassed." "He stared at me like I was a rich piece of mahogany."
• Talking about de-worming: When was the last time you were de-wormed? How often do you de-worm? How often should we de-worm? Uncomfortable? Maybe it's worms!
• Getting hit on/proposed to, over and over again: A little of this I've brought upon myself, but I can only laugh at the boldness of men here. Walking down the street the other day, I had the typical "hello, how are you, fine, how are you?" conversation in Swahili with a shopkeeper. Naturally, his next question was "Would you like to be my fiancee?" I wonder what his success rate with that one is.

I am glad that as weird as things can be around here sometimes, laughter knows no age or culture or language. Sometimes I get through the day on laughter alone, and that is something to be thankful for.

What does a camel call its goat?

Tonight as I was helping a horde of kids with "maths" homework after dinner, two older kids came up to me with we're-up-to-something looks on their faces and said "We need to ask you a question." I said "Fine, but make it quick." You can't mess around in a room of 50+ who are supposed to be homeworking. Here was the question: What does a camel call its goat? Thinking they were trying to tell me a joke, I was not amused...trying to think in liters and kilograms was kicking my butt, and I was exhausted. I replied "I don't know what you're saying. Go ask Dad." They didn't want to, which made me even more sure it was a joke on the muzungu. This time one of the kids I was helping tried to assist us by asking the question again, only this time it sounded like What does a Hindu call its goat? What. Somewhat irritated, I repeated "I don't know what you're asking me. Go ask Dad." They wouldn't. "Guys, I don't know what a Hindu calls its goat. Go ask one of the uncles." Uproarious laughter. Everyone around me kept repeating what I thought was the joke until I finally deduced that they were actually asking me what do Hindus call their god? Oops. That's a legitimate homework question if I ever heard one. I'm telling you, friends, those accents are still a struggle for me. I guess this is just one more thing for the kids to add to the list of ridiculous things this muzungu says/does!

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I've been living at First Love for a little over a month now, and although I have been terrible at journaling and blogging since then, I did write down how I felt that first night here, so I thought I'd share!

From January 16: I officially came to stay at First Love last night for the first time and oh, my cup overflows! I was a bit uncomfortable at first because I’m still unsure of exactly what my role here is supposed to be, but as soon as the kids returned from school my doubts were gone. Dozens of little hands holding my own, sitting on my lap, asking to be picked up, playing with my hair. I was swarmed by all of these little people with wide smiles, giggling with the delight of a new visitor. One little girl kept kissing my hands over and over again, and all of the kids (and I) couldn’t get enough hugs. After about an hour of just delighting in each other, it was time for devotions. A room filled with 80 rowdy, noisy kids clapping their hands and singing praises to our LORD has to be one of the most beautiful scenes I have ever been blessed to witness. Simply, stunningly beautiful. Dinner involved a lot more laughter as the girls I sat with tested my Swahili skills (I have about five words now, ha) and told me that I should eat my ugali with a spoon because I’m a muzungu (I ended up opting to eat with my hands, like a true Kenyan!) My doubts about being here are gone. My cup overflows.

First Love is still an amazing place to be, and I dread the day I need to say goodbye. I am truly impressed with the way things are run here, and love the people I get to work alongside of. Chris is the director of First Love and his wife Irene also works here and is mine and Rochelle’s field placement supervisor. Chris and Irene are the founders of the orphanage and they would and do do everything for these kids—I have seen them work 12+ hour days more times than I can count. I am reasonably sure that they are the most kind-hearted and loving people I have ever met; they greet me with hugs each morning and ask if I need anything, and when I was sick they each showed up to check on me. This morning Chris was introducing me to a visitor and he said, "Anna came here as an intern, but you know now she's our daughter." How blessed I am.

Being loved by people here reminds me of how I always forget that we were created to be in community—just like when I spent the summer in Texas, I continue to want so badly to be independent and not need others (I also hate to say goodbye, which can be avoided if I avoid community!) But God always knows better. He always provides. He always surrounds me with community that I never could have imagined.

Boaz (who happens to be Chris’s brother) and his wife also named Irene, are “Dad” and “Mom” to the 72 kids here (which includes 3 of their biological kids). They live on First Love’s compound and know and love these kids like their own. Their boys were in boarding school before Boaz accepted a position here this past summer, and he and Irene pulled them out to come live alongside the kids here. Boaz said that he didn’t want anyone to be able to think that he wasn’t treating the kids here as if they are his own, and his kids truly do live just like and with all the others here. What conviction. What dedication. Boaz can be found at 5 am keeping the little boys from having a wild rumpus in their dorm as they get ready for school, at endless school meetings throughout the day (he had nearly 70 parent-teacher meetings the other week…can you imagine?), and checking everyone’s homework until bedtime at 9. He truly has a servant’s heart.

So now that I've told you how incredible First Love is, you probably wonder what I do all day! Unfortunately the kids have really long school days (leaving around 6:30 and getting home at 4:30/5), because I wish I could just hang out with them all day! There are three main things I divide my time between:

School: On Tuesdays and Thursdays I go to the elementary school that most of the kids here attend and help in pre-unit (kind of like our preschool; we have 3-5 year-olds). Sometimes I'm left alone to teach which I don't love because most of the kids only know Swahili and sometimes they pee on the floor and everyone tries to tell me but I don't know what they're saying so I have to find out for myself...but jumping into things a bit unprepared tends to be my experience here in Kenya, so I'm learning a lot! The kids are cute and hilarious, which makes my days there fun.

Baraka Women's Center: ("Baraka" means "blessing" in Swahili) This is my favorite project, by far. The Baraka Center is here on First Love's campus and is a training program for women from the nearby Kibera slum to learn to be seamstresses. Empowering women so they can take care of their families is one of the most important aspects of ending poverty and something that I am passionate about being a part of so naturally I am all about Baraka's mission. The women make products that are sold in the U.S.: bags, quilts, dolls, toys, jewelry, aprons, etc. We're hoping to somehow develop a demand for the products here in Kenya, but that's still in process. Rochelle and I are working on an online catalog of the products to make ordering easier. There is an incredible artist named Leonard also from Kibera who is teaching the women to make greeting cards that will also be sold and I'm coordinating that project (today I joined the lesson and because I don't speak Swahili my map of Africa on the card ended up facing the wrong way...ha). There's a potential that I will start teaching the women to make some earrings too--I am very excited about that!

Case files: The only description this needs is: welcome to the rest of my life as a social worker :). 

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Life here is good, and full. I keep feeling like just when I start feeling like I'm lacking something, God provides: I was just starting to get fed up with not being able to easily connect to people back home, and I now have reliable wifi where I'm living (until the power next goes out, so as reliable as Kenya gets!) I skyped with my roommates from back home yesterday morning and with Krista last night...it was wonderful. (Those who are hoping we can skype soon, you're next!) Today I was feeling a bit lonely, and I ended up having an awesome conversation with a new friend at lunch about his future dreams and the difference between Kenyan and American politics...and you all know I love a good political discussion. Tonight I was asked at the last minute to do devotions for everyone before dinner, a task that really intimidated me, and God provided the words. He is good.

Life is beautiful.